|State of the Steve
||[Feb. 1st, 2010|01:27 am]
Hello LJ-land. Long time no write. Lack of time and the ability to post little snippets to that "other" site means less love for LJ. And it's a pity, because I do love to write.|
So much to tell, and rather than clog up people's pages, I'm going to put this one behind the cut:
First and foremost- I love being a husband and father, although gawd knows, it's not easy. I went from being responsible only for myself (and doing a less than stellar job of it sometime) to this. Add in that Lina and Alisa are in this very strange land and having to not only learn the language, but learn the various ways everything works, from ATM machines in English to what their familiar foods are called and where they're located in the grocery store. Then toss in the bizarre work situation for the both of us and money stressors. Then put in a huge dollop of this strange man now being Alisa's defacto Daddy and.... whoa......
And just because that wasn't chaotic enough, we got two kittens.
My mother says I love chaos and to some degree that's true. But damn, a breather every now and then would be nice. But when I get them, they're measured in hours, rather than days.
I feel badly because in trying to nail everything down for my family, I've neglected a lot of friends and family. It's not from a lack of interest, it's just from a lack of both time and energy. Since September 2007, I have been going balls-out, first prepping for both the 2008 Moscow Circus tour and tours with Lyn, then arranging for the May 2008 wedding, and then 15 months of paperwork and stress over the immigration proceedings, and then getting a new apartment, making it habitable, and finally, Alisa and Lina's arrival and trying to get them settled in.
As someone who will remain nameless said, "well, that's life". Indeed, it is, but that doesn't make it any less tiring or stressful.
But there's definitely joy. It's not all gloom and doom. I'm getting to know Alisa and I'm seeing her open up a bit. She's a funny kid and amazingly resilient. She just endured a tour with me working for Lyn that involved 8 days with 3400 miles of travel, shows in 3 cities, and an ungodly amount of time sitting either in a truck, in a theater, or back at a hotel while I worked. But we went to see the Statue of Liberty and ate sushi in NYC, went swimming in the ocean down in Ft Lauderdale, and got silly at South of the Border. I'm learning about her and she about me, and last night we were in the truck coming home from NY and there were 3 of us in the back and she grabbed a pillow and leaned against me and fell asleep and I felt very.... fatherly. She makes me laugh too. She was horrified by our hotel in Rocky Mount NC (the Days Inn right off exit 145 on 95- avoid it at all costs.) and walked around saying "Very very dirty." She said NYC reminded her of Moscow- very very dirty, not like St Petersburg, which is clean.
And Lina. Well..... words fail me. She's incredible and she makes me very very happy. We have a lot of fun and laughs together, not to mention love. I can be having a totally miserable day but when I come home and see her sitting there rehearsing, my heart just melts into a big gloopy puddle.
Right now, things are a bit tough on a few other fronts. The job situation is our primary concern. Lina is touring with the Moscow Circus right now for very short money. She's missing out on gigs with Barynya Ensemble, which pays much better. Unfortunately, they're based out of NYC, so she spends a lot of time traveling on bus back and forth. It's for that reason that we think we might end up in NYC or near there, provided I can find work. We also have Alisa's schooling to consider.
I need to reconnect with everyone. I think I will have more time in the upcoming months. Many of the issues that sucked up so much time are now settled and it will be good to see and hang with folks. I miss that a lot.
I also want to go back to my books and finish at least one of them.
So that's where I stand. Thank you, and dawg bless America.